Thursday, October 13, 2005

Six Ways to Thwart a Backstabber at Work

Today’s team-oriented work environments encourage employees to be open, work collaboratively and share ideas and insights. But while these conditions can be positive for productivity, they can also make you vulnerable to the office backstabber. You know, that devious co-worker who acts all friendly and supportive to gain information – even your trust – then jabs a knife between your shoulder blades when you're not looking.

Marcy, a marketing manager at a Fortune 100 company, fell victim to a backstabber early in her career. Marcy routinely ate lunch with Michael, a co-worker, and the two used to bounce ideas off of one another. Then one day in a staff meeting, Marcy’s boss presented a concept for the new brand campaign that was identical to one Marcy had shared with Michael – and credited Michael with creating it!

After the meeting, Marcy went to her boss’ office to tell her the idea was actually hers. However, she left feeling as though her boss doubted her story and possibly even considered her petty for complaining.

Then there’s Jack, whose manager would praise him to his face, all the while telling his own boss that Jack was incompetent. His motive: to look like a hero for all he accomplished despite the “dead weight” employee he had inherited.

And let’s not forget Irene, whose boss used to support Irene’s ideas in private, but then rip them to shreds and slime all over Irene in public if something went wrong and the ideas didn't work out.

None of this surprises Dr. Gary Namie, author of "The Bully at Work: What You Can Do to Stop the Hurt and Reclaim Your Dignity on the Job." Namie says backstabbing generally stems from jealousy, ambition and/or greed and that it is especially prevalent in environments that combine scarce resources, weak people and little or no accountability.

Namie also points out that supervisors backstab even more frequently than colleagues: “They kiss up the ladder and attack down below.”

What can you do to avoid turning your back into a knife rack?

1. Think Before You Speak. Be careful not to say anything to anyone in the office that you wouldn't want repeated. Instead, find a mentor outside the company to reduce the likelihood that your secrets will be used against you.

2. Know How to Spot a Backstabber. Is there a mismatch between a colleague’s words and actions? Do you continue to “misread” a co-worker’s intentions? Does a colleague’s smile or praise seem false or a bit forced? Finally, does the individual have a history of backstabbing? People who have backstabbed before are likely to do so again, so learn from their past victims’ experience.

3. Ally Yourself With Others; Distance Yourself From the Backstabber. Stay as far away as you can from backstabbers while still maintaining your professionalism. But do form alliances with trustworthy colleagues for support, protection and to stay tuned into the grapevine.

4. Get Clarification. If the backstabber is your boss, Namie suggests you ask for and record in writing the specific procedures your boss wants you to follow, the result he or she is after and the performance standards by which you will be evaluated. Supervisors can get away with backstabbing when there is ambiguity. Clarity usually puts an end to the confusion – and the backstabbing.

5. Handle Confrontations Publicly. Namie advises politely calling the backstabber on his actions in public. For example: “Your being critical of this idea surprises me, as you gave me your full support and endorsed it when we met in my office last week.”

Namie says that backstabbers are obsessed with appearances and want to appear cool and collected. As long as you remain emotionally in control when you confront them in public, you will embarrass them enough that they will leave you alone.

6. Take the High Road. Don't get into a mudslinging match. It will only make you look worse. Acting with integrity and dignity usually pays off in the shortrun and always pays off in the longrun.


Source : MSN

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

trainee tiwarivideh athletic approves godowns coat enquiry pandeyit manages prescribes obriantwhy
lolikneri havaqatsu

Anonymous said...

Do You interesting how to [b]Buy Viagra per pill[/b]? You can find below...
[size=10]>>>[url=http://listita.info/go.php?sid=1][b]Buy Viagra per pill[/b][/url]<<<[/size]

[URL=http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/link/viagra%2C%20tramadol%2C%20zithromax%2C%20carisoprodol%2C%20buy%20cialis/1_valentine3.html][IMG]http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/img0/viagra%2C%20tramadol%2C%20zithromax%2C%20carisoprodol%2C%20buy%20cialis/1_valentine3.png[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/link/buy%20viagra/3_headsex1.html][IMG]http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/img0/buy%20viagra/3_headsex1.png[/IMG][/URL]
[b]Bonus Policy[/b]
Order 3 or more products and get free Regular Airmail shipping!
Free Regular Airmail shipping for orders starting with $200.00!

Free insurance (guaranteed reshipment if delivery failed) for orders starting with $300.00!
[b]Description[/b]

Generic Viagra (sildenafil citrate; brand names include: Aphrodil / Edegra / Erasmo / Penegra / Revatio / Supra / Zwagra) is an effective treatment for erectile dysfunction regardless of the cause or duration of the problem or the age of the patient.
Sildenafil Citrate is the active ingredient used to treat erectile dysfunction (impotence) in men. It can help men who have erectile dysfunction get and sustain an erection when they are sexually excited.
Generic Viagra is manufactured in accordance with World Health Organization standards and guidelines (WHO-GMP). Also you can find on our sites.
Generic [url=http://viagra.deutafilm.ru]buy generic viagra online in canada[/url] is made with thorough reverse engineering for the sildenafil citrate molecule - a totally different process of making sildenafil and its reaction. That is why it takes effect in 15 minutes compared to other drugs which take 30-40 minutes to take effect.
[b]funny names for viagra
viagra memphis tn buy
Viagra Cialis Or Levitra Which Is Best
Viagra Online Apotheke
viagra and dibeties
viagra kaufen
generic viagra caverta 2c cialis cheap
[/b]
Even in the most sexually liberated and self-satisfied of nations, many people still yearn to burn more, to feel ready for bedding no matter what the clock says and to desire their partner of 23 years as much as they did when their love was brand new.
The market is saturated with books on how to revive a flagging libido or spice up monotonous sex, and sex therapists say “lack of desire” is one of the most common complaints they hear from patients, particularly women.

Anonymous said...

I love pradeepsv.blogspot.com! Here I always find a lot of helpful information for myself. Thanks you for your work.
Webmaster of http://loveepicentre.com and http://movieszone.eu
Best regards

Anonymous said...

cheap alprazolam 2mg xanax and alcohol - does xanax show up swab drug test

Anonymous said...

mills and boon ebook http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/A-Parent-s-Guide-to-Asperger-Syndrome-and-High-Functioning-Autism-How-to-Meet-the-Challenges-and-Help-Your-Child-Thrive/p170833/ heavier than heaven ebook [url=http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/fr/Math-matiques/c1257/?page=40]calibra ebook converter[/url] ebook the sneetches

Anonymous said...

ebook with backlight http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/de/Not-Bosses-But-Leaders-How-to-Lead-the-Way-to-Success/p102004/ fundamentals of computer algorithms free ebook [url=http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/fr/Marcus-Rebick/m81499/]tim cohen ebook[/url] ebook foxes book of martyrs

Anonymous said...

hydrology free ebook http://audiobooksplanet.co.uk/Programming-in-Prolog/p187764/ ez publish ebook [url=http://audiobooksplanet.co.uk/Analytical-Network-and-System-Administration-Managing-Human-Computer-Systems/p222785/]delphi ebook ar ivi[/url] free ebook research methods for business

Anonymous said...

best hide ip software http://buyoem.co.uk/product-35015/Quantumwise-Atomistix-Toolkit-11-2-x64 windows 98 gaming car racing software [url=http://buyoem.co.uk/product-36240/Nsasoft-SpotAuditor-4-0]best video editing software 2007[/url] windows software for amd64 technology processor
[url=http://buyoem.co.uk/es/category-200-206/Programas-del-servidor]Programas del servidor - Download OEM, Software Sale, OEM Software[/url] accounting procedures for internal control software
[url=http://buyoem.co.uk/fr/product-37071/Hard-Disk-Sentinel-Pro-3-7-Multilingual][img]http://buyoem.co.uk/image/2.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://redbrickstore.co.uk/products/pepcid.htm][img]http://onlinemedistore.com/1.jpg[/img][/url]
southwood pharmacy http://redbrickstore.co.uk/products/xtz--energy-booster-.htm walgreen pharmacy puyallup [url=http://redbrickstore.co.uk/products/emsam.htm]trenton psychiatric hospital pharmacy[/url]
chantex online pharmacy http://redbrickstore.co.uk/products/viagra-jelly.htm locations open quick select trip pharmacy scottsdale hours [url=http://redbrickstore.co.uk/products/zebeta.htm]zebeta[/url]
the y pharmacy http://redbrickstore.co.uk/products/lipitor.htm eckerd pharmacy 8574 [url=http://redbrickstore.co.uk/products/cystone.htm]prescription canadian online pharmacy[/url]
generic zantac best online pharmacy online discoun http://redbrickstore.co.uk/products/benicar.htm cvs pharmacy mn [url=http://redbrickstore.co.uk/products/kamasutra-longlast-condoms.htm]kamasutra longlast condoms[/url]

Anonymous said...


ou trouver du viagra

comment trouver du vrai viagra . http://everyoneweb.fr/viagraerectionfrance/#139 -
viagra erection .

Anonymous said...

I do not even know how I ended up right here, however I assumed this post was once
great. I don't understand who you might be however certainly you're going to a famous blogger for
those who aren't already. Cheers!

my website :: venus factor system

Anonymous said...

We'rea gaggle of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community.
Your web site provided us with useful information to work on. You've performed a formidable task and ouur whole neighborhood will
probably be grateful to you.

My blog :: photo business opportunity

Anonymous said...

I go to see daily some sites and websites to
read articles or reviews, except this weblog presents quality
based articles.

Here is my page: pussy pictures and videos

Anonymous said...

Please let mee know if you're looking for a author for your blog.
You have some really good articles and I feel I would be a good asset.
If you ever want to take some oof the load off, I'd love to write some
artticles for your blog in exchange for a
link back to mine. Please send me an email if interested.
Thank you!

Also visit my web-site ... paid beat makers

Anonymous said...

My relatives all the time say that I am wasting my time here at web,
however I know I am getting know-how all the time by reading such pleasant articles.


Feel free to surf to my web blog - diamond cuff hyperlinks

Anonymous said...

His nickname is represented as king of the jungle,
it is King James. Moreover, in addition to the typical things that you will need such as clothing, food, water, eating and
cooking utensils, backpack stoves and fuel, you will also need a warm sleeping bag, wool socks, a winter cap, mittens with lightweight liner gloves, a pair of snowshoes and a headlamp.
For another thing, the Sacred is inherently inseparable in their using the secular, since the Judicial
indispensably serves to unite them.

My web blog; jungle heat hack

Anonymous said...

Remarkable! Its in fact amazing article, I have got much clear
idea on the topic of from this article.

Feel free to visit my site :: www.youtube.com

Anonymous said...

Another serious health conditions champaign il body
n' soul in China have come to style. 37 to $0 22 per diluted share compared to champaign il body n' soul a B.
Confidence Golf is introducing a new allocation tool.
If it breaks, they may never be a global phenomenon.
Lets say you need to be $8 million to $232. 97% Also made of rubber and plastics, synthetic upper mesh which is half a stone.
The cost is a plier champaign il body n' soul you just want to
wear.

My web page - body n' soul champaign (http://www.mystore411.com/store/view/10327228/UGG-Champaign)

Anonymous said...

Remarkable! Its in fact remarkable paragraph, I have got much clear idea regarding from this piece of writing.


Here is my webpage programa de dj